Product Reviews

Virgil’s Zero Cream Soda Left Me Feeling Depressed

Virgils

I picked this up at my local Wegmans. Soda in a glass bottle always tastes better, and for some reason it’s really hard to find. Maybe it’s the Stevia, but this had a really strong aftertaste. Almost like my mouth was on fire with wood chips. It only went away when I ate some ice cream, which of course I’m not complaining about. Whatever that taste was, I was disappointed because I’d finally found diet soda in a glass bottle and now I don’t know what to do with my life.

Creative Writing · Product Reviews

Hot Buns

You come home after a long, hard day. All you want to do is sit down and eat, maybe with a heating pad against your back. As you hang up your coat and take off your shoes, your nose becomes filled with the mouth watering scent of fresh, hot, sticky cinnamon buns.

‘Honey?’ you call. You try to ignore the scent. After all, who eats hot buns for dinner? Your significant other must have made them for dessert. When no one answers you decide to take a shower. Yes, you think. A nice hot shower.

Except you go into the kitchen, listening to your subconscious desire to find the hot buns.

Your eyes widen as you turn to look at the stove, anticipating it to read 350 degrees. Sadly it’s not even turned on, but that doesn’t mean anything. Dinner will probably be a pizza and the hot buns will be for dessert, you convince yourself. They must be somewhere in the home.

So you go to the dining room, a smile forming as you look at the table. Each place setting has dishes, which means dinner is probably being bought at that very moment. The hot buns must be on the table somewhere for you to ogle as you consume your meal. Your smile soon turns into a frown, though.

No hot buns.

At this point you think ‘Ah yes, they must be waiting for me in the living room.’ An image of you sitting in your chair, stuffing your mouth with hot buns enters your mind. So you peek into the living room, your eyes scanning every flat surface for those delectable treats.

No hot buns. If there are no hot buns, you think, then what am I smelling?

That’s when you see it: a caramel colored jar candle, flickering away on the mantle. The smell of hot buns intensifies as you get closer, and tears form in your eyes as you realize there will be no hot buns for you to consume tonight. It was the candle the entire time.

hotbuns

That’s what you can expect to happen while burning a Hot Buns candle from Our Own Candle Company. The aroma is strong and rich, and will fill the biggest of homes with the intoxicating aroma of hot buns. Go ahead and crack an evil smile as guests walk in and assume they’re about to be given a baked treat. That’s what they deserve for showing up unannounced, expecting you to entertain them when all you want to do is inhale the sweet aroma because hot buns make your own buns a little too wide.

Product Reviews · Thoughts

State Fair Cinnamon Roll

State Fair Cinnamon Roll

Within minutes of lighting up a State Fair Cinnamon Roll candle by the Food Network, which I picked up at a local grocery store, my entire apartment smelled like one big pastry. I could clean out my cat’s litter box without gagging, let my dog lick my face without holding my nose, and cook my husband’s favorite meal-salmon loaf with caramelized onions, garlic mashed potatoes and a boiled cabbage salad-without heaving every five minutes.

Many people don’t know about their line of candles, which are available on their website and many fine retailers. Far too often people have said, ‘Why spend money on something that’s going to burn out?’ Perhaps the question we should really be asking ourselves is, ‘Can something so fleeting as a candle really enhance my life?’

The answer is yes.

More people are working from home now. That means ‘goodbye’ micromanaging boss that’s worried about an open flame and ‘hello’ to a workspace complete with a fire extinguisher. Fire radically changed the way homo sapiens lived, and yet so much of our time is spent away from an open flame. Yes, they can be dangerous. Just remember to blow it out whenever you walk away.
It’s worth it to have a soothing reminder that our ancestors often died from a lack of heat.

That State Fair Cinnamon Roll will widen your hips, but this candle will keep you from regurgitating it as you tend to your family while still appreciating its buttery, cinnamony goodness.